Master Yang Li Shaofan
Bullying is a real problem in school.The development of science and technology in recent years has developed another way for bullying to attack others.All in all, bullying occurs in every school.These problems exist from the fourth grade of elementary school to the twelfth grade of high school, and the most common ones occur between the sixth and tenth grades.This is a behavior that both parents and children need to recognize, and it is also a topic that needs to be communicated with children.
Bullying has different definitions on different campuses.In summary, bullying is the deliberate misuse of power in interpersonal relationships, repeated use of words, actions, and social behaviors to cause embarrassment to harm and coerce others.They intentionally cause physical, social or psychological harm.Cause immediate humiliation and injury to the victim; temporary fear, anxiety, and pressure; or long-term psychological impact, requiring psychotherapy.Among them, 20% of the children cannot go back to their original school.Bullying is a problem that needs to be addressed squarely.
First of all, we have to look at how bullying is doing evil in school.The most common method of bullying is to use aggressive language to humiliate others (more than 80% of bullying uses this method).Next is to name someone hurtful and insulting (Name Calling). Other methods include intimidation, threats, spreading rumors, spreading rumors, actual physical attacks, destroying personal belongings or clothing, and even stealing money.Online attacks have been increasing in recent years, approaching XNUMX%.The most important way is to use offensive names to insult others, and the second is to spread rumors.It should be noted that online bullying not only bullies people online, but also attacks and bullies others in schools.Four percent of the bullying methods are related to weapons, such as knives or pistols, whose purpose is to intimidate others and show off their abilities.
In schools, the object of bullying is roughly related to appearance.The objects they choose are children who they think are smaller than them and can be bullied, such as those who are smaller or more introverted and will not resist for themselves.It also includes children who have any characteristics or appearance, such as weight, hair color, length, clothing and so on.They also bully bookworms because of jealousy, because of different races, different religions, different sexual orientations, and even children with physical defects are their targets.The most common places where bullying occurs are in school passages, stairwells, classrooms, dining halls, toilets, or school buses.Recently, anti-Asian incidents have occurred due to the epidemic. Asian parents need to pay attention to this development.
To help children face the problem of bullying, parents should make this topic a topic in chat or dinner table, which is also one of the ways to prevent it.Talking with the child can bring out the situation of bullying in the school, such as what the child sees and hears, what the child thinks, how to respond if it happens to him.Among them, parents can also emphasize their unconditional support for their children and will work with him to overcome difficulties.Respect the child's position and ideas during the conversation, and not be self-righteous, in order to win the child's trust.Then, the parents take a keen observation of the children's daily life.Many times children are afraid or unwilling to tell their parents what happened.Parents should pay attention to changes in their children's lives, such as children becoming silent, absent-minded, and not interested in things.Changes in diet and daily life, unwilling to get up in the morning to go to school, homework or accumulation is a sign of decline.The child's temper becomes unstable, easily loses temper, or cry easily, or stays in the room all day, etc.Parents need to show love to their children, no matter what, they are willing to correspond with their children.Parents should be objective, frank, and patiently waiting for their children's response.When the child encounters this situation, he feels distressed. He does not know whether to tell his parents or how to deal with it.
Parents need to know their children's concerns.He was really afraid, afraid to face it, and unwilling to think about the accident.He was also afraid to tell others, even his parents.Because in his opinion, making small reports is not right, and he is afraid that bullying will retaliate and make things worse.He didn't dare to tell his friends, for fear of his friends not believing, or fear of losing friends (bullying may be one of a group of classmates he frequents).If you tell your parents, you are afraid of not being believed or blamed.On the contrary, I am afraid that my parents will react excessively, so I am unwilling to tell my parents.Parents need to understand the child's mentality.
When children are willing to tell about bullying, parents need to support with love.Communicate with your children in a calm and peaceful state of mind, collect all the information, understand the ins and outs of things, clarify all the main points, and don't make assumptions.When communicating with children, parents must listen attentively and use physical contact to express comfort, support or empathy.At the same time, don't judge, don't interrupt, and don't talk.Parents should respect their children's opinions and understand his situation from the child's standpoint.And to be sensitive to the child's feelings, not to push, pause when the child is emotional, and express love.Let him continue when his emotional response comes back.Parents encourage their children to explore many ways to deal with it, with words of encouragement and affirmation, and at the same time they can share ideas or suggestions objectively, but don't insist.Parents can also share their feelings, but don't add fuel to the fire.Pay attention to non-verbal information, such as facial expressions, posture, etc.Parents and children agree on practicable methods.
There are roughly the following ways to deal with bullying incidents: 1. Treat it as nothing, do not respond at all, make bullying feel boring and give up; 2. Face bullying positively; 3. Tell friendly companions, take care of each other, and each other Protection; 4. Parents can intervene, but the child’s consent is required; 5. Inform the school – the school’s recommendation is that the school is disciplined, and they use it to regulate and stop these behaviors and prevent things from growing.Parents should discuss the handling methods with their children according to the seriousness of the incident and the place where it happened.Know that the child is actually facing, listen to and respect the child's opinions, and let the child try to deal with it.
Bullying incidents need to be dealt with and cannot be avoided.When the non-response does not take effect and the child is willing to face bullying, parents can help the child prepare to face bullying directly.In this way, children's self-confidence can be built, and they will not shrink in the face of difficulties.But if the child is not ready, don't force it.Let the child think in detail about what to say-how to say and what to say? Parents can share and discuss the skill test, because there is only one opportunity. If it is unsuccessful, it will become the subject of bullying and humiliation.The child should speak in a calm, affirmative tone, not agitated, not flinching, and not attacking other people's words.The child should tell the other person: 1. What he did, 2. What happened to you as a result, 3. Point out what is right or wrong This is not right, 4. Ask the other person to stop I' m asking you to stop the behavior! Parents can help children whitewash the words and sentences, make what they want to say more certain, direct, short, non-accusative, and non-aggressive.Parents can help children practice first at home.If you are unsuccessful in confronting bullying directly, you can consider parental intervention, but you must get the child's consent.Discuss the details of parental involvement frankly with your child.You should deal with it with a calm mind, don't swear, don't threaten, don't intimidate, and don't come to talk to your bullying parents.The purpose is to point out improper behavior and advise bullying.It is important to know that bullying mostly lives in an unbalanced family and is dissatisfied with the current situation. Don't know how to deal with anger.In fact, they have no sense of security and use bullying methods to inflate themselves and improve their social status.How to prevent and stop bullying?Let this topic become the topic of chat or dinner table, follow up the development on time.Let the children check this information during the vacation, and have a better understanding of preventing or facing bullying.Open the family and help children have a group of friends who are willing to support and maintain justice.Encourage the building of children’s self-confidence, support children’s positive actions in the face of bullying, encourage children not to back down, and use proper methods to deal with them.Finally, inform the school and let the school counselor handle and stop these behaviors.